Monday, April 4, 2016


It's been said no man is an island and I believe that's true.  We all need a community, some more than others, certainly. Community can be anything from the city you live and participate in to the friends you choose. Since we've been married we've moved house more than I ever dreamt we would and each move forced the issue of community simply in the neighborhood we chose.

Our first neighborhood was made up of young married couples, all of us in a five house circle, all of us having our first babies, all of us moving out to newer, bigger homes around the same time. 
We were a very close group of friends and we all depended on each other.  But as we moved away, we drifted apart.

Our next home was the one where our children grew up.  It was a street of just twelve houses and every other house had a retired couple living in it.  One of our retired neighbors told me she loved our street because it kept her young watching the little ones play, the young couples come and go, and we all grew together in that neighborhood, too.

The older I get the less I want to start over.  And finding that community of like minded people gets a little harder.  Suddenly you are the new kid and it's hard to break into an established community, especially in a small town, especially since I may need them but they don't need me.

I thought quilters were a welcoming group of like minded people but I discovered otherwise in the lakeshore city we recently left.  It was hard living in a black hole. I travelled to another city where I had quilt friends and reached out in a blog and discovered amazing people all over the world and also found that the lakeshore community of quilters was not the norm.

And now, we've moved again, and again to a small community, and I was a little apprehensive about starting over yet again.  But this city is very close to the one where I grew up so my network is intact.  It's close to PH's family in the opposite direction,  we have discovered new people and new connections and so it's been good.  But once again, it's the quilt community that has me curious.  You see, I know there are quilters here but there is no group, no bee, no community.
Through a friend I visited a community of women who are all closer to 90 than 80.  They quilt once a week, every week and finish tops that have been donated to them.  They raffle off the finished quilts as a way to raise funds for their church. 
  I watched and learned the importance of growing a fingernail on your right thumb. And putting nail polish on that thumb to strengthen it because sometimes the needle will go through the nail.
 They chatted, I snapped as they worked around the quilt frame
 I got close.They were all a little concerned about my wanting to take pictures of their hands.  There were comments about the lumpy, bumpy knuckles and age spots.  I have lumpy, bumpy knuckles, too, and you earn age spots.
 Quilters, I've found, can be very exacting.  I've noticed the first thing a quilter will do when viewing someone's new finish is turn it over and look at the back! You can get a really good idea of how good the stitching is by looking at the back. You can also see the quilt design better from the back.  But I've also noticed that no matter how bad your back may be you will only get compliments and gushing over your newest quilt.  I don't know if that's a rule but it surely is polite.

Finding like minded people can seem a daunting task but we need them.  And they need us, too.


  1. B for beautiful! That my dear is a very heartfelt piece of writing. Those hands are also beautiful. We do seek out communities....I refer to them as my tribes....a place where we can exchange thoughts and ideas and share in a place we feel safe and accepted. I chuckled at the quilter flipping over the work to check out the backside, yep....that's what a hand quilter will do! I am grateful for people such as your good self too, in accepting me into glimpses of your world and wisdom.

  2. So true! And I do think we have a harder time finding community as we age ... but if we don't, we'll find ourselves alone when we least want to be. Sounds like quilters are a special bunch ;)

  3. wow they sound amazing still quilting at that age...........I sure hope I can do that.......I hope you feel a little part of their community.............
    I love our online community too........