Lord of the land

 Our son said I'm feeding the monster.  

For Christmas we gave PH one square foot of land in Scotland.  So we now call him Lord of the land. 

There's a pub/brewery here in town that we like.  They don't serve food but allow it to be brought in so we get take out and settle in for a good time.  It's a system that works.

They also have the popular mug program whereby you purchase a mug, have it engraved with your name and then you get a discount on your drink when you come in.

PH went whole hog on his engraving.  He is now Lord everywhere.  I edit scattered the print on our last name because, you know, this IS the internet, but you get the idea.