Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Peace and Quiet
What do you do when the stress level reaches the point where you can hear your heart beat? When you can't take a deep breath. When you don't know if what you're feeling is going to morph into a panic attack or heart attack? When you can't seem to stop waking up at 3 a.m. and your racing, raging mind won't let you go back to sleep? When the buildup to this week confirmed itself - and it's only Tuesday. When if one more person that day asks something of you, you will look them in the eye and cry? What do you do if you feel like eating will most certainly cause you to gack?
I slipped out during my lunch break and went shopping. In a bookstore. I walked in, stopped just inside the door, took a breath. A very deep breath. Exhaled deeply. I walked around, touching book covers, choosing a calendar, found the new edition of the book review magazine I liked, wandered over to the cookbooks, ambled through the children's section, wrote down some titles for Christmas ideas. I spent 45 minutes breathing deeply, pretending that when I went back to work the afternoon would be better than the morning.
I bought my magazine, a calendar and these two treats. Rod Stewart's first Christmas CD ( I absolutely love his Great American Songbook collections) and Best Food Writing 2012.
I took a deep breath and went back to work. The afternoon was better than the morning.